• Dani La Barrie, LCSW, CAP

9 Signs of Codependency

Updated: Jan 7, 2019

Do you feel like you've been pleasing others and sacrificing your dreams? Or have you been relying on your family or loved ones to make your life decisions? Although it's okay to make sure our loved ones are happy, there's a difference between reciprocated contentment and codependence.

There are a variety of circumstances that may lead you to be codependent. Becoming aware of the Affinity to codependent/unhealthy relationships is important. Identifying the signs and then addressing them is key, otherwise you will soon experience mental stress and other health conditions.

Here are the major sign and symptoms of codependency and how they affect your personality:

1. Low-Self Esteem

Comparing yourself to others and creating stories in your mind. Comparing yourself to other people can lead to jealousy, depression, shame, and guilt. .

2. Putting Others Before Yourself TOO OFTEN

You care more about the problems of others and put all of your efforts to solve their problems; giving yourself up in the process. Having sympathy and empathy is healthy; however codependency compels you to put other people ahead before your own needs may even be met.

3. Triggered Feelings

You react to everyone’s feelings and thoughts because you take things personally, and get triggered easily. You may become defensive about your arguments and take what others say to heart often.

4. Weak Boundaries

The imaginary boundaries between you and someone else; with reference to your body, belongings, feelings, and thoughts, are not strong. You may close off and withdraw because of poor boundaries.

5. Pleasing others

You put off your own choices and priorities to please others. Saying ‘No’ is hard for you, so you sacrifice your dreams and desires to please others.

6. Poor Hesitation to Express

You find it difficult to express your opinion, feelings, and thoughts. You may be afraid of reality and don’t want to hurt others with your words. Communication becomes dishonest and confusing for you.

7. Control of Life

Allowing others to control your life gives you a secure feeling. You may need a limited control over your life events, but if you are codependent, you limit your ability to take risks and make decisions.

8. Dependency

If you are codependent, you always have feelings to be liked by other people. You are afraid of rejection and bad views about you. You always need to be in a relationship because you fear loneliness and depression.

9. Intimacy problems

In an intimate relationship, you may find yourself judging between right and wrong. Because of weak boundaries and shy feelings, you fear rejection or the other person leaving you.

Codependency leads to painful emotions, stress, obsession, fear of failure and rejection, or feeling of being alone. All of the above symptoms of codependency may become extreme and lead to feelings of anger, depression, or addiction.

If you could relate to any of these points, I invite you to get introspective. Journal. Meditate. Stop and begin to ask yourself about who you are, what your values are.... if you need some light guidance I recommend "I Am Worth It": A Journal & Workbook for women with an Affinity: https://www.affinitycarenow.com/product-page/i-am-worth-it-journal-workbook . Check it out, tell me what you think.

love always,


#affinity #affinitycare #whatsyouraffinity #sabotage #selfsabotage #breakthestigma #mentalhealthrecovery #addictionrecovery #healingjourney #selfcarematters

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"Dani has helped me realize the potential I have to live a happy, successful life. She is an inspiration to all. She met me where I was at and encouraged me to become the best version of myself. She is one of the most genuine and caring people I have met on my journey to recovery. I would not have the outlook on life I do today if it wasn't for her help. She has been an absolute blessing in my life. If you have the opportunity to work with her, I highly recommend you take it."

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